Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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