Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
