So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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