i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
