Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
