i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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