i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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