five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
