I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
