Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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