im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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