i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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