Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
