Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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