Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
