i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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