So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
