My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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