a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
