i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
