Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
