If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
