her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
