What a fucking waste of an outfit
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
