Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
