I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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