That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
