two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
