i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
