I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
