Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
