I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
