Jerry, you need to find god
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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