is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she woke up with a sticky ear
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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