Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am spending my child support on dildos
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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