But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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