Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
