Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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