So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
