My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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