NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
love makes seman taste better
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
