Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
