Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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