3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize