I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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