Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
