where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Randomize