oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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