it was like his penis was on wheels.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
