You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
