I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Randomize
