please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
