I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
