he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
