next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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