There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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