If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
