Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize