"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
