But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
