Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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