We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize