I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
