sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
