Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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