Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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