It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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