I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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