I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just had sex on a roof
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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